Why am I avoiding writing?

I have done some writing in the last little while but nothing that I can truly say was a 'good effort' and to tell you the truth I'm not totally sure why that is.
I know with what I've recently come into, being a single father and all, I have been under a decent amount of stress to not warrant wanting to write.  At the same time though I've always enjoyed writing I just don't have the motivation to keep a steady pace of it up.
I have the internet now so its not like I can't get onto my Writing Workshop on Gaia and pick the string back up where I left it.  I know I'm always welcome back there and that the would be more than ecstatic to have me back for the writing and crit abilities and my Moderator position.

So why am I avoiding it?
I can blame it on writers block but truthfully I don't feel blocked.  I don't feel that my imagination has been properly exercised in a little while and that I may be a bit rusty as far as Free Fall Writing goes.  I don't have the drive or the motivation to keep myself going at it.  I love writing and I know that I'm good at it, I know that I can be tons better if I kept it up and kept working at what I am doing and what I am able to create.

Why am I not motivated to write?
A good question that I don't really know if I know the answer to.  Maybe I'm afraid of actually accomplishing something.
Then what?
So I accomplish something and then I have to follow it up with accomplishing something else and then something after that.  It's like walking, once you start you really can't stop it, you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually you end up somewhere in the world.

Am I justified in being scared to write?
No.  Simply no.
I have talent, I have ability, I have the imagination and the creativity to create.
I don't use it because I am scared to be good, one of the best perhaps, at something.  That I will be a standard that other people are measured against.

Is that something to be scared of?
It's not.  I shouldn't be scared or afraid to be good.  I shouldn't shy away from sharing what I can and know I can do with other people in the world.
This is going to be an obstacle for me, I know it is and I'm going to have to remind my self on a regular, perhaps daily basis, that I can do this and that I can make myself wonderful in the world of writers and authors.

Peace,

ClX

A few days away

I've been gone for a few days.  The process of moving, the setting up a new apartment, the transitioning of life from being married to being single.  It's actually quite a process that I took for granted on several levels before I had to do it entirely on my own.

Have I written anything in the last few days that I've been away?
Kinda.
I've done a little writing here and there.  There was something that I just did that I think is going to be a tremendous push for myself and the new life that I am involved in.  I've created a second blog Diary of a Single Father, I'll post the link for it over in the side column.  The idea behind the second blog is to explore the life that a single father leads.  If I am able to I want to push the boundaries of what a single parent actually is by going into depth on the blog, finding similarities and differences between single fathers and single mothers, what they are going through and the things they fear and face.

Why am I doing a blog about being a single father?
There are a number of reasons.  For me the one the keeps coming up is that there is not enough information about being a single father.
You come across stuff about being a single parent, in the end that single parent, in most texts, turns out to be a single mother, the single father being a foot note as something that happens also but is a rare occurrence (like the Toxic Avenger).  I want to push something out into the world (a man baby) that someone that identifies with me can come along, find, read and say that sounds a lot (or a bit) like me and I think that I can take what he's saying/writing and use it in my life.

I'm going to keep this blog going as well, as identified before this is dealing with the writing side of my life so there is going to be some cross-over with this and my other blog since...well I have to write the other blog, as well as continue working on my short stories and other aspects of writing.

There is more re-working that I have to do with this blog still.  I'm not happy with how the layout was left, so I'm going to need to figure out exactly what I'm doing with it and get it done.  Thankfully I have some vacation coming up in the next week so I can sit and really ponder what I'm trying to make this blog look like, and come up with some visual ideas for my second blog as well.

Take a moment to check out my second blog over on the side, I've only got the opening post up but I think it's a good start.

Peace,

ClX